Everyone experiences grief differently. As an employer, you should tailor your support to each person's needs.
Some people might need support soon after the death and also after they return to work. For example, on the anniversary of the death or if there's an inquest.
Supporting a worker after a death can help:
- them feel valued
- reduce their stress or anxiety
- avoid or reduce sick leave
- keep a good working relationship
- keep the workplace productive
It's important to ask what support someone needs from you. And also let them know what support you can offer.
For example, some people will have a network of family and friends supporting them. You should keep this in mind when considering the support you give them.
When a worker tells you about the death
When a worker tells you about the death, it's good practice to:
- say you're sorry to hear their news
- tell them they should take any time off they need, and make it clear that work should come second
- ask how they'd like to keep in touch, for example by phone or email
- ask if there's any important work they need someone else to cover, if appropriate
If someone is upset they might not be able to talk for long. Or someone else might contact you on their behalf. If this happens, it can help to follow up with an email, or call them a few days later.
Example of good communication
Cam's partner dies suddenly of a heart attack. Cam contacts their manager to tell them the news.
The manager tells Cam they do not need to worry about work. They ask Cam if it's okay to tell other people in the team. They also ask how Cam would like to keep in touch.
A few days later, they speak again. The manager confirms how much paid bereavement leave Cam can take. And reassures Cam that their work is being handled by other people. The manager and team send Cam a sympathy card. Cam and their manager agree to speak again after the funeral.
When they next speak, they talk about other options if Cam needs more time off. The manager also shares the details of counselling and other support available through work.
This helps reassure Cam. It also helps the manager check if Cam needs any support.
If someone needs time off
Check your organisation's bereavement policy to see how much leave your organisation can provide.
Your policy should take into account that some workers may need more time off than others. This includes if someone needs to travel abroad at short notice.
If your organisation does not have a policy, it's good practice to talk to the person and:
- check their legal right to time off and pay during bereavement
- consider their personal circumstances, including different religious and cultural practices
- look at what you've offered other bereaved workers, to make sure you're treating everyone fairly
- offer some paid time off for bereavement if possible (you might call this compassionate leave, bereavement leave or special leave)
- talk about using sick leave, holiday or unpaid leave to cover their time off, if you're unable to offer other paid leave for bereavement or they need more time off
- ask if they need other support
It's a good idea to have a bereavement policy if you do not have one.
Find out more about having a bereavement policy
Keeping in touch while someone is off
In the first few days after a death it's important to communicate with the worker.
When you get in touch, it's good practice to ask:
- how they are
- how they'd like to be in contact while they're off, for example by phone or email, and how often
- if they want you to let others know about the death
- if they want to be contacted by others from work, for example to offer their support or condolences
- if they need any information or support from you, and signpost to any support that's available to them
- if they've thought about returning to work, if appropriate
Be careful not to pressure them into making any decisions before they're ready.
It can also help to train managers in how to have good, empathetic conversations.
Find out more about keeping in touch during absence
Returning to work
It's usually not appropriate to talk about returning to work in the first days after a death.
Keeping in touch can allow you to have an open discussion about:
- how the person is coping
- when they might be ready to return to work
- your organisation's policy on bereavement
- any adjustments that might help with their return, for example a phased return or a temporary change in duties
- what support would be most helpful to them, for example access to an employee assistance programme (EAP) or workplace counselling if available
- any changes at work they might want to know about, for example a bereaved parent might want to know in advance if someone else at work has become pregnant while they've been off
How quickly someone returns to work will be different for everyone. Someone might be unsure or not be able to judge how they'll feel when they return.
Keeping in touch and talking about adjustments can help plan their return. For example, they might feel anxious about seeing people on their first day back. To help with this, you could talk with them about how the first day will be managed.
You should make sure everyone at work respects the person's wishes on whether they want to discuss what has happened.
When they return to work, you should check how they're doing and offer support if they need it.
Find out more about returning to work after absence
Example of supporting someone's return to work
Nat's twin brother died 6 months ago. Nat took several weeks off work. Their manager agreed a phased return to help Nat get back to work. Everything seemed to be going well.
The manager then notices that Nat seems withdrawn and unhappy. A customer complains about Nat. The manager asks if Nat is okay.
Nat explains the twins had planned a birthday celebration for the following week. This has made Nat's grief worse but Nat still wants to be at work.
They discuss how to help Nat get through this difficult time. They agree that Nat will temporarily swap to admin duties, rather than working with customers. This helps and Nat feels confident to talk to their manager about any problems in the future.
Ongoing support
Once someone returns to work, you should continue to tailor your support to meet their needs.
Some workers might need extra support or time off following a death. For example, because of:
- grief symptoms affecting their performance, for example not being able to sleep, think or concentrate
- depression or other mental health problems
- extra responsibilities, for example helping a dependant
How your organisation deals with requests for extra support or time off depends on its bereavement or absence policies.
Even if you do not have a policy, you must follow the law. For example, making reasonable adjustments to support a disabled worker.
You should talk with the worker about what's best for their physical and mental health in the long term.
Doing things proactively can help prevent problems. For example:
- encouraging an open and supportive working environment for everyone
- telling workers about your organisation's employee assistance programme (EAP), if there's one available
- sharing other support that's available outside your organisation, for example Cruse Bereavement Support
It's also likely the worker will be more productive if they feel they're getting the right support.
Mental health
Grief is a natural response people have to death and is not a mental health problem.
However, someone might experience mental health problems. For example if their grief becomes complex, or they're not able to grieve. This can include anxiety and depression.
If a worker has poor mental health, you should take it seriously and provide help and support.
Find out more about supporting mental health at work
Mental health and disability
Some people with mental health problems might be classed as having a disability under the law. You should make sure you:
- do not discriminate against someone with a disability
- make reasonable adjustments for a disabled worker
In most situations, it's best to look at how someone's condition or impairment affects them, rather than what the condition or impairment is.
Find out more about supporting disabled people at work
Get more advice and support
You can get more advice and support from:
- Bliss – support and information for parents after a baby has died
- Cruse Bereavement Support – handling bereavement, including training for employers
- Hospice UK – help talking about dying, death and bereavement
- Mind – supporting someone's mental health
- Miscarriage Association – miscarriage support and advice
- Sands – support for those affected by pregnancy loss or baby loss
- Sue Ryder – supporting staff after a death
If you have any questions about types of bereavement leave and pay, you can contact the Acas helpline.