2. Getting support
If someone close to you dies, you might need to take time off work unexpectedly. Your employer should support you.
Depending on the circumstances, you might:
- need time off immediately
- decide to continue to work
- take time off later on
If you need time off
It's best to let your employer know as soon as you can if you need time off work.
You should try to follow your organisation's usual process for telling them. If you feel unable to contact them, you could ask someone else to do it for you. For example, a family member or close friend.
If you've had a miscarriage
You do not have to tell your employer you've had a miscarriage. But it's a good idea to tell them, if you feel able to. They can then offer you any support that's available, including time off.
What you should tell your employer
It's a good idea to let your employer know:
- how you'd like to be in contact while you're off, for example if phone or email is best
- how often you want to be in touch
- if you want others at work to know, and if they can contact you
- if you need any information or support from your manager or employer
It's up to you how much you tell them about the death, and whether you want others at work to know.
It might be difficult to know how long you'll need off work at first. Keeping in touch with your employer can help:
- update your employer
- plan your return to work when you're ready
Find out more about keeping in touch during absence from work
Example of keeping in touch
When Alex's mother dies, Alex emails their manager to ask for time off. The manager says they're sorry to hear Alex's news. They reassure Alex that their work will be covered. The manager asks Alex to call or email if they need anything.
After taking 1 week off, Alex starts to worry about taking too much time off. Alex calls their manager.
The manager tells Alex they should take the time off they need. The manager says their organisation provides 2 weeks' paid bereavement leave. They also say that if Alex needs more time off they could discuss other options. For example, using holiday or sick leave. Alex's manager also passes on the details of counselling and other support available through work.
The conversation reassures Alex. It also helps the manager understand what Alex needs.
Leave and pay
Check your contract or organisation's policy to see if your organisation offers leave or pay for bereavement.
Your organisation's bereavement policy should say:
- how much leave your organisation provides
- if it's paid
- if it depends on your relationship to the person who died
If you're not sure what you’re entitled to, check with your manager, employer or someone in HR.
If your employer does not offer leave for bereavement
By law, you might be entitled to time off if:
- the person who died is your 'dependant' – for example your partner, child, parent or someone who relies on you
- your child is stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy or died under the age of 18
If you're not well enough to work, you might get sick pay if you take sick leave.
You can talk to your employer about other options for taking time off, including paid holiday and unpaid leave.
Find out more about time off and pay for bereavement
Returning to work
It's a good idea to talk to your employer before you return to work to discuss:
- when you think you'll be ready to return
- anything you're concerned about when you return
- if the death has changed anything that might affect your work – for example if you now have more caring responsibilities and want to discuss flexible working options
Find out about returning to work after absence
Help and support
If you need support at work, it can help to:
- talk to your manager to see what support or adjustments might be possible
- use your organisation's employee assistance programme (EAP), if there's one available
You can also get help and support from the following organisations:
- Bliss – support and information for parents after a baby has died
- Child Bereavement UK – bereavement support for children, young people and families
- Cruse Bereavement Support – advice on coping with a death
- Hospice UK – help talking about dying, death and bereavement
- Mind – mental health information and support
- Miscarriage Association – miscarriage support and advice
- Sands – support for anyone affected by pregnancy loss or baby loss
- Sue Ryder – advice on coping with a death
If you have any questions about types of bereavement leave and pay, you can contact the Acas helpline.
If you're unhappy about how your employer has handled your bereavement
If you're not happy with how your employer has handled things, you can raise this with them. It's usually best to raise the problem informally first.