M: Kirsty, when we spoke, you said that you felt that Paul wasn't willing to discuss things with you and Paul, you told me that umm... sometimes Kirsty wants to speak to you at times when you can't talk and that, by preference, you'd like to see things in writing. So I think this is a ... be a useful area for us to explore to now to see whether we can agree a way of working together.
Would you like to say how you feel, Kirsty?
K: Basically, you know, for me, when I'm working on ideas that need to be bounced off other people, the idea of putting them in writing, you know, on an email, just feels like a hindrance really, because, you know, some of these things aren't fully worked out, you know. There's things I'd like to bounce off my team members, so that we can come up with something... so that the creation that you're actually coming up with is, is, is a group creation.
M: Paul, how would you respond to that?
P: Well, I think you can discuss things via email and the one thing that, why it really works for me, is because it is quick, it is efficient and you don't have to waste valuable time...umm...
K: Communicating!
P: Well, no. You're still communicating, aren't you, but it's just in a different way. You know, you're still having the same discussions, but when you send an email, you're going to be more concise about what you want to say so it makes sense to me.
K: For certain things, technology's fine, for certain dry matters, where we're just trying to work out itineraries, that is fine. But for bouncing off ideas, you want to work with someone. I wouldn't know what to write, the whole thing is I have an idea, I'm inspired, I want to bounce off someone else, I want them to respond in the moment. It's all so dry, and it's all so once removed with you.
P: If you've got ideas, you put them down in an email, you send them across, the person reads them, sends an email back with their ideas. It's the same thing.
K: Okay, why don't we just sit... stand in front of the coffee machine and talk to each other on our ******* mobiles!
M: Can I just stop you both there. There are two issues here: one is the sort of timing of the discussion has not been good for you, with the deadlines you have to meet and the other is just your preferred way of receiving the information.
P: Yeah, if you've had a 20 minute conversation and you haven't, you know, taken notes or anything or no one's provided you with an outline of what that meeting was. But if you've got the email in font of you, then you can take you time...you can think about it.
K: Well how about, you send me an email, and then I'll come in and discuss it. I mean...
M: How would it work to have some kind of compromise? Whereby you set aside a time, email each other an agenda of items to discuss before that meeting. Would that meet both of your needs?
P: Well that seems more beneficial than sort of spending half of the week in and out of each others' office, sitting there chatting over a cup of tea... it's kind of, you know...
M: Is that something that you could buy into?
K: Yes, I think to have some clarity, umm... to actually lead him to the potential for a group meeting, I think that's a great idea, and if that means that we have to email each other to get there, that's fine. So I'll email him and we'll have a set... What?
P: Uh huh. No, I agree - we'll have a meeting.
M: After some further negotiations, Paul and Kirsty agreed on details to make their meetings work.
M: So we've agreed that you'll meet together every Monday morning, for an hour, to discuss the issues, but you'll actually email each other so that you know what those issues are going to be.
M: This was an important compromise for them both: Paul was happy that he would have prior knowledge of the issues to be discussed and that meetings would be at a time convenient to him, meaning less interruptions. Kirsty was happy the she would get time to discuss things face-to-face.
Paul's take on this P: I think now, after the meeting, I realise that there are some things where I could change the way I work. Umm... I think Kirsty just works in such a different way to me and I found that hard to kind of understand the way she works because I am, I am more about sort of sitting at my desk and thinking things over and working with the emails and stuff like that. And I realise that, she does things differently. She likes the... the interaction with the clients and she likes to sit down and discuss things and she likes to throw ideas around and I think that we just need to have a compromise and both of us try and work the same ways.
