M: During the meetings that we had, a particular flashpoint for both of you seemed to be the incident concerning the delegation of some of Kirsty's work. And I thought it actually might be useful to start with that particular incident and discuss that. Paul, it might be helpful, if you're happy, to sort of tell Kirsty why you did that and what was going through your mind.
P: Well, as I explained in the meeting, the work still has to be done. If Kirsty's off sick, then someone's got to do it and all I did was...kind of...
K: When was the deadline for that piece of work?
P: It's not about...
K: It was two weeks later!
M: Kirsty. Can we just sort of have one person speaking at one time? You did mention to me that you were actually concerned about Kirsty.
P: Well obviously if one of the people in the office is off sick because of stress, due to the workload or whatever then... and the thing is if she's gone off with stress, she, you know, it's not like a cold...
K: 'Gone off with stress'?
P: Well, it's not like going off with flu or whatever... you can tell us when you're going to be back...
K: So he acted concerned did he? He acted concerned when you two talked. It was concern, was it? It doesn't sound like concern to me: 'gone off with stress'. Yeah.
P: Well, my main duties are to get the job done. At the end of the day the work has to be done and... if ...
K: No, you're... basically you're trying to imply that I'm neurotic and that I go of on stress, with stress. I've been...
P: I'm not trying to imply anything. I'm trying to do my job that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to get the work done and if you're not there, then I'm going to delegate it to someone else who is there, who can do the job. It's nothing personal, it's just that deadlines have to be met.
M: Can I just stop you both there. Kisrty could you just explain to Paul when you came back, how you felt about that work being delegated whilst you were away. How does that make you feel?
K: Actually, you know, to be honest, I felt violated.
P: [Sniffs]
I mean, do you see how he responded? Do you see how he sniffs? He takes no notice of or has no understanding for feelings.
M: So how might Paul have dealt with that in a way that would've been more acceptable to you?
K: Maybe just had a bit of trust that I would actually carry out the things that I need to carry out. Even if I'm having a day off, I've got it covered.
P: It was one time and I thought I was helping you out by passing these over to other people to free up your time so when you got back you could concentrate on the projects that really mattered to you.
M: In terms of just taking this forward, because we're now in a difficult situation, a situation where, when either of you are away, your sections are not being covered. And we've now got a situation of a sort of a standoff between you, which is obviously having an impact on your staff. How are we going to resolve that situation?
K: Well I would like in future that he, whenever he feels there's something he's going to do for me as a favour, that he checks with me first.
M: Okay. How does that sound to you Paul?
P: Yeah, it sounds like a good idea.
M: As you've just seen, feelings were running high. But once they'd aired their views Paul and Kirsty did start to reach agreement. They went on to agree arrangements for their sections during periods of absence. Tackling this flashpoint early on in the mediation, helped Paul and Kirsty to move on and discuss other points.
